Saturday, 12 May 2012

Riley and Rowan..."The Twins"

    So I'm in the Circle of Moms Top 25 Moms of Multiples Bloggers contest.  It's funny because I was invited to take part in it.  It's funny because I rarely blog about the twins.  I rarely think of them as twins.  I had to specifically take the above picture of them together this afternoon.  I don't have pictures of them sitting together, unless I specifically pose them.  They are a brother and a sister who just happened to be born at the same time.
    I had a lovely woman leave me a comment on one of my earlier blogs about when Riley and Rowan were tiny.  Back then they were "the twins".  This lady had one year old twins.  I assured her that in two years it will be easy, and it will.  Riley and Rowan are now no more work than Grace and Elly.  The first three years with Riley and Rowan were tough.  I would be a liar if I said "twins" were tough, because back then my life was rough.  Riley and Rowan were 5 months old when Gabe died.  I could not pick them up for a month after the accident because I had ruptured my spleen and they had been able to repair it, I also had an incision held together by staples that went from just above my groin to just below my breast bone.  Picking them up would risk re-rupturing my spleen.  Throw into that a few surgeries for me after that, and all of the problems Grace had to endure because of the mental and physical complications from the accident.  Not to mention just the physical problems, Christopher and I struggled to keep our head above water with the overwhelming grief, and pretending to act like normal parents for the kids.
    Here is what I know for sure about twins.  When they are tiny a mentor is a life line.  I knew two women who had twins.  When I was pregnant and terrified, they were my life lines.  It helped when they were tiny to have people who had been there, and survived.  They gave me tips that worked for them.
    Riley and Rowan will turn 8 in July.  I can hardly believe it.  Right now our biggest "twin" concern is saving up for their big school trips in older grades.  That's the worst I can think of right now.  Their grade 7/8 class trip to Quebec City will cost a small fortune, then double that.  I think about it, but heck that's years away.  
    For those of you reading this with tiny twins.... I promise it gets better!  I promise it gets easier!  You don't have to be perfect, just get through the day as best you can.  Cherish your moments when they are sleeping.  People will tell you to sleep when they are sleeping, you will never hear that from me.  My personal advice is get a cup of tea / coffee, or grab a hot shower (to clean off the double baby barfs, and  poops), do something that will save your sanity.  Relax just as best you can before it starts all over again.  Don't be so hard on yourself, you are only human!  If you need a mentor, you have one in me if you don't know any twins moms.  You can ask me anything and I'll do my best to help.

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