Sunday, 13 May 2012

Mother's Day / Motherhood

    Happy Mother's Day.  I mean this is a big day, they made it into a holiday for goodness sakes.  In my head I would desperately like my children to regard me like an Irish mother, you know that kind of revered saintliness.  I want when I am gone for them to smile and look to the sky and say wonderful things about me.  The truth is that I'm sure they will say nice things, but more often they will shake their heads and say "Oh she was something alright", and it will have a tone of irritation rather than regard.
As hard as I try to be saintly, I just don't have it in me.  I have saintly moments, but they are often overshadowed by my easily irritated nature.

    Growing up the only career path that I ever consistently wanted to follow was that of motherhood.  To me it feels like a calling.  I will mother anyone who will let me (just ask the kids that I fed breakfast to at our school).  I'm like a mother hen, and I don't necessarily mean that in a good way.  I have deeply embarrassed my children on a number of occasions by stopping kids in the street in winter and asking them if they would like me to get them a winter jacket (I run a snowsuit charity and have tons of winter clothing stored in my basement).  I can't seem to help myself.

    Motherhood it's self has been placed upon a pedestal, well at least in theory.  The title of motherhood is placed on a pedestal, motherhood itself, not so much.  It is expected that woman are born with the inane gift of mothering, this is not true.  Any woman who does not have that gift will find themselves at the end of public distain.  Doubt me, go ahead and talk about a woman who lost custody of her children.  The general consensus will be that she really stunk as a mother and that she deserved to loose her children, not "I bet that her ex had a really good lawyer".  Need further proof, when someone asks what you do for a living, tell them you're a stay at home mom.  Watch their faces.  It will show disgust akin to telling people that you run a meth lab, or are a prostitute.  People seem to think that being a stay at home mom means being on vacation all the time.  I have news, it's not!  I work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  I have no holidays, I don't even get to take a shower in peace.  I am the one that the school will call when they need parent volunteers, it's assumed because I'm at home I can come (don't get me wrong, I'm o.k. with this).  The only time I get any solid time off is when I am deathly ill (even then I have to do hair and check that outfits still fit), or I have had surgery (I get a break for the first day home).

    Often times I feel like motherhood is a thankless job.  I feel under appreciated.  Don't get me wrong I get little gifts (small smiles, watching their milestones, bouquets of dandelions, just to name a few).  Mother's day is the day that I feel appreciated.  They come barreling into my bed with their self satisfied little faces, baring hand made gifts.  This morning I pretended to be asleep until they came in.  I was treated to a Tim Horton's coffee and banana nut muffin, it doesn't get much better than that.  They also came bearing gifts.  The gifts came in all manner of packages.

    I have to say that this year's bunch of school gifts were exceptional!  I expected the traditional macaroni necklaces painted in gaudy colours strung on yarn, but this year I will actually wear these gifts, and not just when the kids are watching.  Riley and Rowan's teacher (who is so crafty) made beautiful bracelets made from bent forks, and the kids decorated them with bright beads.  
Truly beautiful!

    Grace's teacher made earrings with her class.  They really are lovely.  Gracie picked out blue beads for mine because she knows that blue is my favourite colour.  Isn't that thoughtful?

    Even Elly who only goes to nursery school one morning a week gave me a lovely gift that she had painted at school.  A bird house!

    Perhaps the greatest gifts of all came in the form of paper and time.  In paper the kids listed why they loved me, and I freely admit it brought a tear to my eye.  Grace did one by herself and then did one with the little guys (and the big guy).  I guess they do love and appreciate me, sometimes they just forget to act like they do.  

From Grace...  "Why I Love You"

1.  You're my mommy.
2.  You are very sympathetic
3.  You love me for who I am.
4.  You help me.
5.  You love me.
6.  You are supportive.
7.  You feed me.
8.  You care for me.

From the whole crew...

1.  You make me feel better. - Grace
2.  You're nice and the best - Riley
3.  You are kind - Riley
4.  You're my Soul Mate - Rowan
5.  You support us all in everything we do - Daddy
6.  I love her - Rowan
7.  You make me feel better - Grace

    They also gave me the gift of time, something as I shared above I don't get unless I am at death's door.    Christopher took the kids to the Madoc Park.  They were happy, I was happy ( I made him swear that he would not take his eyes off of them for one second).  After I stood in the driveway and waved to them, I wandered peacefully back into the house.  I did not think about cleaning (like I ever really do).  I did look at my gardens and thought that they really needed my attention, but decided that that was a task for later.  I grabbed the book that I am currently reading from beside my bed (the only time I have time to read is before bed), and made my way to the deck.  I sat in our swing and read.  It was glorious!  The sun was just warm enough to make me warm, but not hot.  There was a beautiful light breeze that carried a hint of the lilacs that are thinking about blooming. In the distance someone was cutting their grass.  The birds were singing, like my own private nature orchestra.  It was heaven.  No one wanted anything.  I just read without interruption.  That might have been todays best gift.  It made me love them a little more when they came barreling into the house shouting and pushing and fighting, and just being kids.

    I guess that what we all really desire is to feel loved and appreciated.  If I only get it one day a year,
 I guess that I am thankful for that, because it's once more than lots of people receive.
Happy Mother's Day!

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