I started my morning with that dreadful shock that comes from realizing that you have over slept. I jumped out of bed in a dirty panic, dressed and was out the door. The morning only progressed after that. I had an early morning doctors appointment in Belleville (forty-five minutes away). Although I did not receive bad news, it was irritating news. I drove home to see my son's little face pressed against the picture window, I stupidly thought he was lovingly watching for me, but turns out he was just impatient for me to get home. I was met at the door by my husband all dressed for work, and in a panic, because his boss had called him in early, and he was now a half hour late (even though I had told my husband what time my doctor's appointment was and had told him the earliest time I could be home, and had beaten that time by half an hour). He then rushed out the door. The kids were late for school, but I was pleased to see that they were all dressed and ready, until I saw what they were wearing. Rowan had on camo pants that were too short and ripped at the knee with a stripped polo shirt that was slightly too short. Grace was wearing pants that were too small and stained. I walked into the living room to a sea of game pieces and scattered puzzles. You can imagine how it went after that. By the time I had dropped the kids off I was so wound up I was nearly shaking. I kept telling myself what a dreadful morning it had been. The more I thought about it the worse it became, in other words I was escalating. Then I started into my poor me routine, "I do everything for all of them, and this is how they treat me!", along with my other inner running dialogues. The recurring thought was "how could they treat me this way?" I then started with the absolute thinking that "this day was going to STINK!!!!!"
I had to stop on the way home at the bakery and buy some bread. I stopped the car outside of the bakery and opened the back door to get Elly out. I unbuckled her, and as I was getting her out of her seat, she wrapped her little arms around my neck, with her little face beaming she said "I love you!" In that very second my anger and hurt feelings melted. I guess we all need to feel loved, especially in times when we have forgotten that we are. Thank you Elly for reminding me.