Tuesday, 26 March 2013

The Bully

    I am a glass half full kind of girl.  I like to think the most of people.  I see my blessings and I count them regularly.  This morning I find myself finding that much more difficult to do.  Today I find my head shaking, and muttering nasty things about this world in which I live under my breath.  Today I am disillusioned with this world I am living in.
    Yesterday my tiny little village received national attention again, and once again for all the wrong reasons. http://www.thestar.com/news/canada/2013/03/25/brawl_in_stands_at_tweed_minor_hockey_game_prompts_police_investigation.html
I was not there, I have only read what has been said in the newspapers, and heard what locals had to say about it, but my understanding is a that an adult female punched a teen girl in the face, and then all Hell broke loose.  Another black eye (no pun intended) for Tweed.  The last time my little community drew national and world attention was because of serial killer Russell Williams living in our midst.
    Yesterday was also the day that one of my children came home in tears... she had been bullied, and worst of all her friends had joined in.  I wanted to cry with her.  It was not as much the bullying, but the betrayal of her friends.  They wanted to be in the "in" crowd, to be accepted, and so they had joined in.
   We hear so much about anti-bullying campaigns, and yet do they really work?  I doubt it.  To bully is just human nature and has been since the times of cave man.  To simply say "don't bully" seems as unless a notion as telling someone "don't breath".  It is my personal belief that to stop bullying you must first ask "why".  Why is that individual bullying.  I know that I am sometimes naive, but I just don't think that anyone one would enjoy going around hurting others.  To me it makes more sense that they want the world to hurt as much as they do.  That they are so filled with rage/ self loathing that it can no longer be self-contained, but has to spill out.  Think back and look with fresh eyes on the bullies that you know/ knew.  Most of them had a reason to be a bully.  Either they had a terrible home life, or other's bullied them, or any number of things.
    To change our world I think that we must first hold up that terrible mirror and look at our true selves. What are we teaching our children?  With the hockey situation all too often I see parents that want their children to play out their own fantasies, heck I've done it myself.  We want our children to have all of the things that we felt that we couldn't have.  It comes to the point that you ask is this your child's desire, or yours?  We see those parents screaming at the refs.  We see those spectators screaming horrid things at children.  I think that we have all been a witness to it.  How many of you were brave enough to call those individuals out?  How many of you asked them to stop?  How many of us are brave enough to confront a bully and tell them to stop?  Not many.
    Today I will allow myself to sit and lick my wounds, to shake my head at this world that I live in.  Today I will see my glass half empty.  Tomorrow is a new day... and hopefully it's more sunny with a glass half full.

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