Sunday, 17 February 2013

Planning Our Vow Renewal

    This August, Christopher and I will celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary.  It has been quite a 20 years, not all of it happy.  I was recently looking at our wedding album and commented on how young my Mom looked in  the pictures.  I then had this horrible realization, in those pictures she was only two years older than I am now!  At 44 my mother had a 22 year old and a 19 year old.  I also noticed that Christopher and I were mere babies in those pictures.  Those sweet young faces had not a single line, and this crazy look of optimism.  
    That first time around I had a fervor for planning that wedding.  I bought more bride magazines, carefully cutting out the pages of the styles and flowers that I knew I had to have (those were the pre-Pinterest times).  I had a binder that was my bible.  I had a schedule for what needed to be done, and when.  This time I am soooooo much more laid back.  Perhaps a little too laid back.  This time around I have Pinterest.  I have a whole Pinterest board filled with ideas for the wedding. Perhaps I should consider a binder....

    The hall is booked, the DJ is booked, the minister is booked, my plants are ordered thanks to Jennifer Nash at .  I know what I want for my bouquet.  I know what I want for my dress (now it's just a matter of finding it).  I still have to order my invitations (word on the street is that Vista print is the way to go).
    The general opinion is mixed when we tell people that we are renewing our vows.  Some people think that it's very romantic.  Some people think that we have rocks in our heads (why in heaven's name would you waste all that money when you're already married).  I don't care, that is the beauty of being older.  To me this is a big party, but it's also very special.  Christopher and I should technically not be together.  Most parents who lose a child, their marriage can not survive, especially when they have already been separated once for 5 years.  After 5 children, and 19 years of marriage, our marriage is the strongest and happiest it has ever been.

    It has taken us 19 years, but I think that we may have figured out that riddle that is a happy marriage. We still fight, I mean we're human (sometimes I think that Christopher deserves a metal of honour for being married to me). Our big joke is that no one else would put up with either of us, so we're better off together.  The truth is that we learned to be considerate.  We learned how to fight.  It used to be that when we fought we would go for blood.  We said words that hurt, and left scars.  We were immature.  We have learned how to get our point across without going for blood.  Oh we still fight, but instead of "war", it's now a "small battle" (oh don't get me wrong there is still plenty of yelling and swearing, but it's out of earshot of the kids.)    
This wedding renewal is a celebration that we made it through the difficult times and came out stronger and more in love.  We are no longer kids.  The faces that will be in this August's wedding pictures will be lined with worry and sorrow, but the smiles will be brighter, more knowing.  We know that we have weathered the storm.  We know that there is nothing that we cannot survive.  We know that no matter what happens there will always be someone to cleave to.  If that's not a cause for celebration, I don't know what is.

You may want to re-read....

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