Thursday, 7 June 2012

The Story Of How Elly Broke My Nose...

It's hard to believe that someone who looks so angelic
could inflict such damage with the back of her head.

    I have been promising you two stories for a few days now.  The story of how Elly broke my nose, and the story about the cast on my nose.  I will share the first story with you today, and you can stay tuned tomorrow for the second story (I know cliff hanger right).  This is not just any story, no, it's a story that has intrigue, and adventure... o.k. it's a slice of my everyday life.  This story takes place about two years ago....

    As you may recall, my husband is a funeral director.  He finds his job to be very personally fulfilling.  Because he works for a small family owned company he is on call literarily 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  It is not unusual for him to work a 9 hour day, get home for an hour, and be called out again for several hours.  At first it was very difficult to get used to this.  When he goes to bed at night, it is not uncommon for him to receive a 3 a.m. call to go out.  After 10 years, I do not like it any better, but I am accustomed to it.  There, I have set the stage for the first part of the story.
    On this particular early summer evening, Christopher had been working non-stop.  I think it may have been like a 60 hour work week he had put in.  He had left for work before I woke, and had arrived home from work at about 8 p.m.  The kids had been really bad for some reason that day (maybe it just felt like extra bad because I had been a single parent that week).  I was at my complete wits end when Christopher came home that day.  He had been on a Toronto run.  When he finally stumbled into the house he was speaking like Spider-man "Don't feel so well, got to lie down".  With that he, without further speech went into our bedroom and collapsed for the night.
    I was so frustrated.  I put the kids to bed, and they fought me all the way.  I lay with Elly to get her to sleep, she would not settle.  She thrashed, and kicked and fought me.  "Want Dadda, Want Dadda!!!" She then brought her head back as hard as she could into my nose.  I just lay there, in white hot pain, seeing those little white dots in that darkness.  When the white hot pain slightly subsided I cried and slid out of the bed, trying not to move my head.  "You are on your own little girl", I angrily told her.  I took some tylenol 3, and finished up all of my "have to's".  By the time I was able to climb into the bed it was 1 a.m.  I was not a very happy lady, and my nose kind of filled my face, and my black eyes were beginning to develop.
    I had just dozed off when Christopher woke me moaning.  "My stomach is killing me." he said.  Now I am not trying to make excuses for my less than compassionate response, but I feel I should include some history at this point.  For as long as I have known Christopher he has suffered from stomach problems.  I have rushed him to emergency dozens of times with him doubled over.  In the end they send him home with some strong painkillers and no answers.  He is super dopey for a few days, and then he is right as rain.  This has been going on for twenty years.  Every time it is the same thing.
Back to the story.... so I had just dozed, he woke me moaning.  I, being the compassionate loving wife (with a nose that was by this point completely spread across her face) rolled over and said in a not so loving voice..."Well if it's that bad, maybe you should go to the hospital."  He decided that he should, it was approximately 2 a.m.  As he was leaving I shouted after him "Drive carefully", which sounds like a nice thing to say, but not in the way that I said it.  I then fell asleep.
     I woke up to the phone ringing at 8 a.m.  It was Christopher, I was expecting the "I just have to wait for the drugs to wear off, and I'll be home.", instead I got a groggy "They are prepping me for surgery, it's my appendix".  My response "OH MY GOD, I'll be there as soon as I can get there!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I then made a frantic call to my parents for Mom to come and watch the kids, and for Dad to drive me to the hospital.   I got there just before they took him into surgery.  His response on seeing me
"Oh my God, your nose!"  They then took him into surgery.  Apparently if he had not gone in when he did his appendix would have ruptured.  It was in really terrible shape when they took it out.
    That is the story of how Elly broke my nose, and I was a royal _itch to my husband.  My nose healed to look like the letter "C", and I was SUPER nice to my husband for a week (it wore off again after that).  Stay tuned tomorrow for the story of my surgery.

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