I thought I had it rough because "sometimes" my husband is not around to help. Most times he is around, most times his loose schedule allows him to help take the kids to school, to be there for their school assemblies, sports... for our life. I often feel very hard done to by Christopher's lack of a real schedule, it makes my life harder. Lately I have been really re-thinking my thinking. Over the last year I have gotten to know a really great group of ladies. Of the five ladies that I have been enjoying coffees with, only two of us have husbands that work in our area. Only two of us have husbands that sleep in our beds with us 7 days a week. All of us are in loving committed relationships, all happily married. Three of the ladies have husbands who have had to find work that takes them far away from home.
The more I think about it, the more I can think of people I know who are either "the" husband or have husbands that have jobs that take them away from their families for extended periods of time. I know of a few people who have had to leave our area and move out West so that they could find gainful employment to support their families. It seems grossly unfair. It seems unfair that for a family to survive, one of the family members must be ripped away. It seems unfair that a woman must be a single parent, when she is happily married. I don't pretend to know anything about the economy, or economics, I just know that it seems unfair. When we all said our marriage vows I think we all rosily thought about our future. In that future we fell asleep in our new husbands arms, and woke to his face looking back on the other pillow. I wonder if any of my coffee ladies had any idea what was in store for them?
Here is what I know, I am thankful that my husband has the job that he has. Yes, it stinks when we are about to sit down to a movie and he gets called out. It stinks when I hear his cell phone ring in the middle of the night and he crawls out of the bed letting in the cold. It stinks when he is out on the roads in terrible conditions and I am worried sick that I will get "that" call. There are a lot of things about his job that stink, but he has a job in our small town. He has a job that allows me to share a bed with my husband 7 days a week. He has a job that allows us to co-parent. My kids see their daddy pretty much every single day. I am lucky that in this economy my husband even has a job, and that his job keeps him in our small town.
Tonight when Christopher and I have "both" finished tucking in the kids, and we collapse together on the couch and do absolutely nothing but watch mindless television, I will be grateful. Tonight when I finish reading the chapter of my book and look over at my husband who is both drooling and snoring (and perhaps farting), I will be grateful. I need to look at what is right, and try to soften my response to what is wrong. I am lucky to have a husband who is able to live with me, to support our family from our small town. I am lucky and sometimes I need a little reminder of that.