Wednesday, 9 January 2013

Being Grateful For A Husband Who Does Not Have To Work Miles and Miles From Home

    My husband is a funeral director.  He works for a small family run funeral home (there are very few of the family run ones anymore).  He is on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  There have been many times that we have been going out as a family, everyone dressed, coats and shoes on when his cell phone rings ... "Sorry guys you will have to go without me."  The kids are upset, I'm upset, but that is our life.  There are weeks that I barely see Christopher because work is so busy.  There are nights that I have had the kids from the time that they woke in the morning until their little eyes are shut, and they have not seen their daddy.  Those are the days that I fall into bed exhausted near tears, wishing that my husband had another job.  When I complain to him he calmly reminds me "We knew this when I took the job."  He's right and after working with the same company for 11 years, you would think it would have sunk in.
    I thought I had it rough because "sometimes" my husband is not around to help.  Most times he is around, most times his loose schedule allows him to help take the kids to school, to be there for their school assemblies, sports... for our life.  I often feel very hard done to by Christopher's lack of a real schedule, it makes my life harder.  Lately I have been really re-thinking my thinking.  Over the last year I have gotten to know a really great group of ladies.  Of the five ladies that I have been enjoying coffees with, only two of us have husbands that work in our area.  Only two of us have husbands that sleep in our beds with us 7 days a week.  All of us are in loving committed relationships, all happily married.  Three of the ladies have husbands who have had to find work that takes them far away from home.
    The more I think about it, the more I can think of people I know who are either "the" husband or have husbands that have jobs that take them away from their families for extended periods of time.   I know of a few people who have had to leave our area and move out West so that they could find gainful employment to support their families.  It seems grossly unfair.  It seems unfair that for a family to survive, one of the family members must be ripped away.  It seems unfair that a woman must be a single parent, when she is happily married.  I don't pretend to know anything about the economy, or economics, I just know that it seems unfair.   When we all said our marriage vows I think we all rosily thought about our future.  In that future we fell asleep in our new husbands arms, and woke to his face looking back on the other pillow.  I wonder if any of my coffee ladies had any idea what was in store for them?
    Here is what I know, I am thankful that my husband has the job that he has.  Yes, it stinks when we are about to sit down to a movie and he gets called out.   It stinks when I hear his cell phone ring in the middle of the night and he crawls out of the bed letting in the cold.  It stinks when he is out on the roads in terrible conditions and I am worried sick that I will get "that" call.  There are a lot of things about his job that stink, but he has a job in our small town.  He has a job that allows me to share a bed with my husband 7 days a week.  He has a job that allows us to co-parent.   My kids see their daddy pretty much every single day.  I am lucky that in this economy my husband even has a job, and that his job keeps him in our small town.
    Tonight when Christopher and I have "both" finished tucking in the kids, and we collapse  together on the couch and do absolutely nothing but watch mindless television, I will be grateful.  Tonight when I finish reading the chapter of my book and look over at my husband who is both drooling and snoring (and perhaps farting), I will be grateful.  I need to look at what is right, and try to soften my response to what is wrong.  I am lucky to have a husband who is able to live with me, to support our family from our small town.  I am lucky and sometimes I need a little reminder of that.

1 comment:

  1. I can so identify with this post. My hubby is a police officer and as with your husband's work....there is no 9-5 with tragedy. I remember when my kids were very little they couldn't tell time but they knew what the clock looked like when it was time for bed. I remember an extremely difficult day when I had been alone with them and moved the hands on the clock to read bedtime because I was on the edge. LOL. You are right though.....being there for those so called little things is BIG and I too was thankful for that. Enjoy the journey neighbour.