The Christmas Lesson

     And then there was beautiful glorious peace.  All the worrying, all of the stress, all of the planning, all of the work ... done.  I'm sitting here in almost silence, just the light of the Christmas lights and the soft light of the computer screen are the only lights, my brand new Kate Bush "The Whole Story" Cd (a gift from my thoughtful husband) is softly playing while I drink a well earned glass of wine.  The dishwasher is softly humming in the background.  The kids are all tucked in upstairs, hopefully passed out after all of the excitement.  At this moment in time, life is very good.

    It's the same thing every year.  Don't they say that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing again and again and expecting different results?  If that's the definition of of insanity, then they should consider fitting me for a nice 600 thread count straight jacket.  I set this impossibly standard for myself and make myself and everyone around me crazy trying to achieve it.  Everything must be perfect, magical, and often it is, but there's a price.  By the time Christmas rolls around I am so stressed out that I am biting everyone's head off and practically foaming at the mouth.  I wonder if it's worth it.  I wonder if I asked them if they would trade their crazy perfection seeking mother for a not so perfect calm Christmas?  I won't ask them, I'll make the vow next year to plan better (and I won't).

    There is just so much excitement, so much lead up to Christmas.  It's all done in what seems like the blink of an eye.  The wrapping paper strewn everywhere, the expensive gifts as far as the eye can see.  Having said that, there are also really happy little kids.  This year we vowed to cut back.  In past years I tried to over compensate the loss of their brother with gifts.  This year I didn't.  I had that holding my breath moment, while the last gift had been opened.  I kept waiting for them to be disappointed, and yet marvelously they were not.  All of their needs had been met.  They were happy children, thankful for what they had!

    Christopher took three out of four kids out to toboggan on the big hill behind the house (Elly went to school this week, so of course she became sick).  They were all bundled up, full of excitement ready to test out the brand new sleds from Nana and Popa.  I stood at the picture window watching them trudge up that hill.  It was beautiful.  The kids would strain their neck to excitedly say something to their Daddy, and he would look down and smile.  They would let out squeals of delight and excitement as they flew down the hill.  I remembered that I am very blessed.  We have enough.  I am married to a wonderful man.  I have beautiful, lovely children.  I am blessed.  

    After dinner the whole family sat down to watch a movie.  Two of the kids were laid across their father like blankets, he just lay there, unaware.  One of the kids was stretched out on the floor using the pup as a pillow.  We were warm, our stomaches were full, we had each other, and that is all that really matters.  Peace just fell over me.  All of the work, all of the worry, the stress, the planning, the tears, it all fell away.  I need to find a way in my daily life, when I am up to my ears in stress (and my shoulders are up at my ears) to stop, and visualize that moment.  I need to take a deep breath and remember just how blessed I am.  I have a husband who loves me for me, I have beautiful children, I have parents who are healthy and who love me, I have friends who are amazing and who are there for me when I need them, I live in a beautiful place, my life is good.  I need to remember that in the moments of stress.  I just wish that I could readily remember that when I need it most.  I guess its something to work towards.  I am after all still a work in progress.

    

Our Gingerbread Houses (and no self inflicted third degree burns this year).

    Tonight I laughed until I literally peed.  I also laughed so hard that I shot Coke through my nose, a feat that is a real skill for me.  In other words we had a really fun night.  I was not the only one in hysterics, everyone was in hysterics, and ate their weight in candy.  Tonight we did our annual gingerbread houses (with a twist, because they were graham cracker houses).  The gingerbread house tradition began when Gabe was just a baby (and I pretty much was too).  Back then I decided that I would be super Mom and would bake my own gingerbread house and assemble it.  It seemed pretty easy in the magazine (famous last words).  I said a lot of words that night that would make sailors blush.  Turns our the royal icing is not super glue, but only gives you a false sense of confidence.  Oh that royal icing holds your pieces in place, until that is, you go to add the next piece... then it loosens its grip and brings the whole thing down like a house of cards.  In retrospect it was for the best that Gabe was just a baby during that first attempted gingerbread house, he may have learned some words that I may not have wanted him to learn.

    The years following that first infamous year had gingerbread houses bought in the form of a kit, and hot glued together.  I had to stop hot gluing them after Gabe was no longer satisfied with just pulling off the candies, he wanted to eat the gingerbread.  The gingerbread house tradition is a good tradition, it's a fun tradition.  A few years ago I discovered edible hot glue, i.e. liquefied sugar. I obtained third degree burns on the tips of my finger tips, but on a positive note, I can now commit lots of crimes and they can't pin it on me.

    This year I decided to make everyone their own house to decorate.  We did this a few years ago and the kids loved it.  I invited my parents over and made my Mom help me construct the graham cracker houses.  Let me just say that neither the Ace of Cakes, nor the Cake Boss will be beating down my door any time soon begging me to make graham cracker houses for their shows.  The kids didn't care that the houses were a bit wonky, they just cared that they got to decorate them, and eat candy until they felt sick (I'm pretty sure that's what my Dad also wanted).

    I began the edible hot glue, by pouring about a cup of white sugar into my dutch oven.  I melted it on medium low heat.  I kept a constant watch, constantly stirring.  Word of warning, you really have to watch the sugar and work quickly because the sugar burns quickly.

    When all of the sugar had melted I began to dip the corners of the graham crackers in, and then quickly put them together.  Mom and I had an assembly line that worked pretty good.  Shockingly I did not burn myself even once (I know I am as surprised by this as you are).

    I poured candy into bowls and put them in the center of the table.  I would recommend using royal icing for the houses, but I am too lazy and mixed icing sugar with water.  It was pretty running.  I poured the icing  into little ziplock bags and cut off the corner of the bag.  I warned the kids that was the only icing sugar that they would receive so use it sparingly.

    I said use the icing sugar sparingly, but as you can see by the pictures below, they were not good listeners.  I kind of giggled a little when I looked over and saw Riley and Elly sucking the icing right out of their icing bags.  They loved it and had icing in places I did not know that you could get icing into.

    I usually really get caught up in making my gingerbread house beautiful, but not this time.  This time I just kind of threw my decorations on (mainly because I found the running icing frustrating).  I sat back and watched everyone else.  Christopher is not normally all that artistic, but he painstakingly used Rockets to cover the roof of his house.  He then used my mortar and pestle and ground up candy cane.  I have to admit, it looked pretty cool when he poured the ground candy cane onto the wall of his house, like a Christmasy stucco.

    Riley thought that Christopher's idea was so neat that she decided to copy it.  She became tired and bored with the grinding and so she passed it along and made Popa do it.  My Dad got a little carried away and powdered the candy cane into sugar.  When we asked him about it, he just shrugged, hilarious.

     We had a few hours of hilarity and it cost very little for that much entertainment.  It was fun watching everyone interact, and trying to inconspicuously eat the candy instead of putting it on their houses.  It really was fun to watch how artistic everyone became, each person had a different take on their house.  

    I have the houses safely stored up on top of my kitchen shelves.  They are safe to be looked at, but not picked at, and certainly not eaten by a certain little trouble maker dog named Fergus.  

    The last part of this tradition is perhaps a little over the top.  Christmas Eve Christopher brings up his hammer, the kids put on safety goggles.  They then proceed to take turns demolishing the gingerbread house.  They take great delight in smashing it, and then walking around eating large chunks of candy laden gingerbread.  It's a pretty good tradition.  It's uniquely ours, and I wouldn't change it for all of the money in the world.

Remembering Christmas Past (looking at my family's Christmas traditions)

      Yesterday afternoon I was traveling store to store with my list.  It was all of the things that I needed to pick up to finish my Christmas preparations.  I was in the grocery store running down my list when it  struck me how many Christmas items on my list were from my family of origin.  I looked at that list, nuts, apple cider, egg nog, box of chocolates, chips, dip......  it was that poke in the shoulder reminding me of the legacy that my parents have given to me.  I lovingly collected my ingredients, little nostalgic smile upon my face.

  Growing up we did not have a lot of money.  My dad worked hard from morning until literally night.  We did not have a lot of money, but we always had what we needed.  Mom was a stay at home mom, and Dad picked up as many over time shifts as he could, and so because of that we did not get to see as much of him.  We looked forward to Christmas, not just for the gifts, but because we knew we were guaranteed two whole weeks with our Dad.  Dad's factory shut down for Christmas, and so we had him.  Dad would go out and play in the snow with us, and Mom would have hot chocolate waiting for us when we got in (I guess that's where I get it from).

    At Christmas our whole house would always smell amazing, because Mom would be busy baking her brains out.  Her specialty was / is Scottish Shortbread.  My sister and I would try to steal the bits that were cut wonky, or did not quite turn out.  Baking meant / means love, and it means that Christmas will be a good one.  We always had a box of clementines, in that little wooden crate.  Mandy and I would fight to see who would get to keep the crate when the clementines were finished.  Those little wooden crates became doll beds, barns, houses.  We would toss the clementine rinds into the wood stove, enjoying that warm citrusy smell.

    The best part about Christmas was the nuts.  Nuts were an extravagance.  My poor Dad would sit cracking walnuts, and the rest.  He had a very organized pattern, that I took full advantage of.  He would sit for what must have been fifteen minutes, shelling the nuts, creating this beautiful pile.  I would wait until I saw that look in his eye, that look that was a mixture of triumph and boredom.  That look was my signal to swoop in, that look said he was just about to enjoy eating all of that hard work.  I would sit like a little hawk, waiting for that look.  I would then swoop in and grab that beautiful pile, squealing "Thank you for shelling all of these nuts for me Daddy."  I would then run like a large squirrel with my stash and savour those stolen treats of the season.  Dad's hard work, tasted delicious.  Somehow the fact that they had been pilfered, made them taste all the better.  Stolen nuts mean Christmas to me.

   So many of my family's Christmas traditions come from my family of origin.  They are so ingrained, that I never think about where they come from, it's just "part of the season".  Over the years Christopher and I have added to those traditions, adding to the old, creating the new for our family.  There is a comfort in the old.  I wonder how many of those traditions are not just Mom and Dad's but also Nana and Papa's?  I guess that we all do that.  We take what we love from our family and use it to build new traditions with our new families.

Our "OLD" Christmas Tree

    It took us long enough, but we have finally put up our old Christmas tree up (it's not decorated yet).  Christopher and I have a very stupid tradition that we tell one new person about how we got our Christmas tree.  This year I WIN, because I have found more than "one" person to tell!

    Every year I put that tree up, and smile, and curse.  I fluff out it's branches and occasionally find myself holding one of those branches.  It does not feel like it, but it is a nineteen year old tree.  It smells a little funky because of all the time it spends in the crawl space, and it takes a little time and a great deal of air deodorizer to combat that musty smell.  Each Christmas season I look at the new beautiful artificial trees in the flyers wistfully.  Those new trees come pre-lit, they are so pretty.  I look at them, but we all know that we will have that smelly tree until all of it's branches fall out.

    That tree has lots of great memories attached to it, not the least of which is how we came to own it.  Christopher and I were newly weds, living in Georgetown, Ontario.  It was our first Christmas as a married couple.  We were living on the top story of a house that had been converted into apartments.  I was working at a job I hated.  Our down stairs neighbour was literally a psycho .  It was also the farthest I had ever lived away from my hometown, both literally and emotionally.  It was a really tough year, but it was our first married Christmas, and that made it special.

    I had seen a four foot tall artificial tree in a White Rose Flyer (now I am really dating my story because White Rose has been out of business for so long).  It was on sale for $20.00.  For us at that time $20.00 was a lot of money.  Christopher was going to school at Humber College to become a funeral director, and my measly pay cheque was our only income.  It was a lot of money for us, but I wanted that tree.  One night when Christopher got finished school, and I had gotten off work, we drove to Brampton to the White Rose.  

    I was so excited to buy that tree, Christopher not so much, but he was there.  We wandered around looking for that tree that was on sale.  We looked high and low for about half an hour, before finally getting help from a kid that worked there (the funny thing in retrospect was that "kid" was probably just a few years younger than us).  The kid went into the back and came out with this HUGE box.  Christopher was looking at that box, and was about to say something, when I kicked him in the leg and gave him the stink eye.  "It's never going to fit in our car" he muttered under his breath.  "I'll make it fit." I growled with my teeth tightly locked together.  "Thank You" I said in an angelic voice to the kid who had helped us (as you are reading this think about the IKEA commercial where the woman looks crazed and screams at her husband "Get the Car".  I think that the ad executive may have been lurking at White Rose, and used me as his inspiration.)
    We paid $20.00 for that HUGE box, and took it out to the car.  As soon as we got out to the car, the complaining began.  "I don't know how you think we're going to get that in the car.", my new husband would not at that point win any awards for optimism.  I honestly don't know how we got it up on the roof of the car, I do remember it involved a lot of swearing.  Basically I drove the half hour back home mostly hanging out of the car window in the winter, holding that box up.  We had to stop every few feet to re-adjust it, Christopher growing less and less merry with every stop.  I on the other hand apart from saying a number of "blue" words to my new husband was as merry as Santa's most merry Christmas elf (I think that in and of itself may have helped to contribute to Christopher's Grinch mood).
    We finally made it home.  I may have had some frostbite, but the important thing was that I had my Christmas Tree!  Then came the task of fighting to get that monster of a box up our narrow little set of stairs.  Our four month old marriage nearly came to an end as we struggled with that heavy box.  There a point that saw me pinned against the wall.  Exhausted and no longer speaking to each other, we colapsed onto our beat up old brown couch.  After we had caught our breath, we looked at that huge box.  The most striking thing that I noticed was the price tag... $299.00, WOW.  The next thing I noticed was that the box said "10 foot Christmas Tree".  We did not have a 10 foot ceiling, something Christopher was more than happy to point out.  "I'll make it fit, you'll see."  I then set out like a crazed idiot, pulling things apart.  In the end my stubbornness won.
    I put up that tree, admiring it.  That night we decorated it with the cheap little decorations we could afford.  It was a thing of beauty.  I remember just looking at it and beaming.  It was our tree, it was our first Christmas together, we had not divorced over that tree.  The next day I came home from work to find Christopher steaming mad, collecting decorations from the floor.  My crazy cat Gary had been climbing the tree and brought it crashing down.  That night we tied the tree to the roof.
    How could you replace a tree like that?  Even if it is kind of stinky, and not as pretty as it was in it's youth, it's our tree.  It has been with us through the years, it's our Christmas constant.

Our Missed Polar Express

    This blog should have been two days ago.  It feels a little disjointed, but that's o.k.  I shared a few days ago about our magical trip to the Adirondack mountains.  Every time I think about that magical mini-vacation I smile, I've got a silly little smile right now while I'm writing this.  

    As is the case with our family vacations, they all snowball out of one idea.  Our whole reason for visiting the Six Flags Great Adventure Lodge and the Adirondacks was to ride the Polar Express.  The Polar Express is a very special movie for our family.  After the twins (Riley and Rowan) were born our world was thrown into chaos.  Two babies at the same time, it was so much to adjust to.  Poor Gabe and Grace fell to the side, they got what scraps of time we could spare for them.  By the time Riley and Rowan were 5 months we finally had it figured out.  This was around the Christmas Season.  It was at this time that The Polar Express came out.  Christopher took Gabe and Grace to see it at the theatre.  They came back with huge smiles on their faces, it was easily their favourite movie.  We did not know it then, but it would be the last movie that Gabe would ever see.  The Polar Express from that moment on became forever linked with our love of Gabe, and our time as a family.  It was a beautiful movie in its own right, but now it was almost religious to us.  Three years ago we learned that some scenic railroads were doing "Polar Express" trips.  We booked our tickets for the one in Utica, New York.  It was magical.  This year I was searching for other railways that offered Polar Express rides, and discovered Saratoga Springs North Creek Railway.  There was a video that showed a glass ceiling decorated for the season, and waiters singing the "Hot Hot Hot Hot Chocolate" song from the movie while they handed out steaming mugs of hot chocolate to pajama clad children.  I knew that we had to go to this ride.  I began to plan our vacation around this wonderful train ride.  I booked our tickets in the beginning of October, and the began to look for accommodations.  I accidentally came across the Six Flags Great Adventure Lodge, it was affordable accommodations, and was close enough to Saratoga Springs.

      We had planned to surprise the kids with the whole trip, but I am terrible at surprises and told them about the lodge.  We kept the Polar Express a secret, thank goodness.  We watched the movie the Saturday night before we left for our trip.  Rowan exclaimed "Can we go to the Polar Express ride again one day?"  I tried to wipe the knowing little smile from my face.  Inside I was giggling thinking about what a wonderful surprise it was.

    I had printed off directions from Map-quest.  I had thought that the Saratoga Springs North Creek Railway was in "Saratoga Springs", but I could not find it, so then I found the "North Creek Railway", I was able to get directions for it.  On our way to the lodge we drove past a sign pointing to "North Creek", I gave Christopher a knowing smile as I pointed it out.  It was farther away than I had thought it would be.  I decided in my head how long we would need to give ourselves to get there.

    I wanted to leave the lodge at 3:00 p.m., I put the kids in the pjs.  They were wondering why I wanted them to be in their pjs at 3:00, but I told them we were going to look at Christmas lights and it would be more fun in their pjs (children are gullible).  They goofed around, and stalled, and squeaked and had to go to the bathroom as we were about to leave, and the whole time I am thinking that my head might very well explode right off of the top of my head.  "What's the big rush, we're just going to see Christmas lights?".  It was closer to 3:30 when we left.  "That's o.k., that's o.k. we need to be there an hour before, our train leaves at 5:30, maybe it doesn't take as long as I thought to get there."  We were in the car five minutes when Rowan started whining "Can't we go back to the hotel?  I don't want to look at stupid Christmas lights."  This went on for quite a while before I finally lost it.  We finally got to "The North Creek Railway".  There were two cars, weird.  

    We walked into the rail area and this older man told us that we didn't want to go in there, had been a malfunction with the furnace and there was soot everywhere.  Christopher asked where we caught the Polar Express, the man gave us a sad look "Oh you catch that in Saratoga Springs, it's an hour and a half away."  It was 4:45, our train left at 5:30.  We barked at the kids to get into the van, they still thought that we were going to look at Christmas lights.  Rowan started back up with "I don't want to look at Christmas lights, can't we just go back to the hotel?"  There was a misty rain and fog.  Christopher was wearing that mask of determination that usually spells out a fight.  It was not good.  I developed the mantra, "Maybe we can catch the 7:00 train, maybe they will transfer our tickets.  Maybe we can catch the 7:00 train, maybe they will transfer our tickets."  I kept repeating this over and over again interrupted with my "Christopher, show down, I'd rather miss it than be dead!"
    We got lost in Saratoga Springs.  We oohed and awed over their Christmas displays, but all the while Christopher and I were stressed out.  Those tickets had cost a lot of money, the page clearly read "No Refunds".  What if the second train was sold out?  "Maybe we can catch the 7:00 train, maybe they will transfer our tickets."  Finally Christopher ran in and asked directions from these two teens working at Dunkin Doughnuts.  We found the train station, the parking lot was really crowded.  Christopher ran ahead to see if we could transfer our tickets.  I brought the kids in after.
    There was no second train, we were out of luck.  The people that worked at the station were lovely.  They felt so badly that we had gotten lost and missed our train.  A lovely lady ran out with Polar Express colouring books for the kids.  The kids were disappointed when they found out what we had planned, but they got over it.  Christopher and I drove back in silence, so disappointed.
   We pulled into the parking lot of the lodge.  Dejectedly we walked up to our room.  In a stoke of genius I shouted out "Who wants Milkshakes?"  It was good that there was only one other family staying at the lodge that night, because the excitement was deafening.  "Can we keep our pajamas on?"  Grace asked.  "You bet", I returned finally beginning to come out of that stressed out haze.  We took off our jackets and walked down to "Johnny Rockets", conveniently located in the lodge.  The kids all sidled up to the counter on the bright red spinning stools.  They didn't care what they missed out on, they were in the moment.  An Oreo milkshake wiped away the disappointment.  Christopher and I looked at each other, our kids were happy, nothing else mattered.  We drowned our own sorrows in the rich shakes, there will be other years to catch the Polar Express, but we were in the here and the now.   I wish that all of life's problems were so easily solved.

The Six Flags Great Escape Lodge in Queensbury, New York

    This year we are about increasing the "Christmas Spirit", and decreasing "Christmas Accumulation".  We wanted to make the whole Christmas season special for the kids, and for ourselves.  We are trying to fill the Christmas lead up with family time.  As I mentioned yesterday I am trying to make memories for them.  I want them to look at their childhood with loving nostalgia.  

    We asked the kids how they felt about having a mini-vacation in place of "some" gifts.  They were all onboard.  Phase one of the mini vacation was traveling to  the Adirondack Mountains.  The drive was breath taking.  I kept asking Christopher if the people who live there know how lucky they are to be surrounded by such beauty.  It was shortly after that we saw a sign for one of the small hamlets that said "A nice place to visit, but a better place to live."  The kids are good travelers and there was limited "How much longer until we get there?"  We had found a Christmas radio station and had the carols cranked and sang along.  It was a really nice drive.

    As we pulled up in front The Six Flags Great Escape Lodge, the kids all let out squeals of delight.  The building was stunning in and of itself, but they had it all decorated for Christmas.  There were giant Lego blocks stacked in front of pine trees done up to the nines with sparkling lights.  There were rocking horses and giant gifts.  Two huge nutcrackers decorated the entrance to the lodge.  The kids were so excited that they were vibrating.

    When we walked into the lobby the kids were even more excited than they were out front.  The lodge was stunningly decorated.  It was magic.  They darted around not even sure where to begin looking while Christopher checked us in.  I will admit that I felt the same as the kids did, I just tried to keep it shut up inside so that I looked like a grown up.   

    We were very fortunate that we arrived on the Sunday in really great time, and because they were not busy we were able to get into our room earlier.  The kids ran around our room looking at everything, but the whole time they were desperate to get to the water park.  We told them that we would not be going to the water park until 4, but that there were all kinds of activities planned.

    One of the wonderful things about the week-ends are all of the family Christmas activities that the lodge has.  The kids had their picture taken with Santa.  There was caroling.  There were so many activities that it was difficult for the kids to decide just what they wanted to do.  

    After they had their picture taken with Santa we decided to end their agony, and we all went up to our room to change into our bathing suits.  The water park is the perfect size.  It was small enough and when we went quiet enough that we could allow the big kids some freedom to do things by themselves as long as they stuck together.  The big kids were most excited about trying out the surfing.  There is a big surf machine that allows the kids to ride a surfboard.  They lined up, excited and nervous.  I was in hysterics as I watched my poor little Rowan thrown around, knowing that I should be feeling sympathetic, but unable to contain my hysterical laugher.  When it came time for Grace to go, she was scared.  She just stood there at the top of the surf wave, unable to make herself hurl down.  The line behind her waited patiently.  I walked up to the side and tried to encourage her, knowing that if she did not push past her fear, she would regret not trying.  Riley and Rowan and I started chanting "Go Grace Go... Go Grace Go!"  We were amazed when that chant became louder with "You Can DO IT!" The other people in line were all cheering her on.  Tears came freely to my eyes, as she swallowed her fear and dove in.  The line all exploded into applause and cheers when she had finished.  She wore this great smile of accomplishment and amazement.

    After a few hours of fun at the water park we got dressed and headed to the arcade.  Again it was big enough for there to be lots to do, but small enough that we could allow the kids some freedom, I really appreciated that.  They all found something fun.  The favourite game of everyone was hands down Skeet ball.  Even Elly got into the joy of Skeet ball.  They all proudly walked up to the counter with their receipt in hand ready to claim their prize.  I felt sorry for the kid behind the counter.  He stood patiently waiting for them to agonize over which junky prize to pick.  If I were him I would have been shouting "HURRY UP AND PICK YOUR STUPID PRIZE KID!"  He stood patiently as they pressed their faces up against the glass examining all of the little plastic prizes, terrified of making the wrong choice.  Eventually I did shout at them "HURRY UP AND PICK YOUR STUPID PRIZE!".

    After the trip to the arcade we stumbled upon Santa's magic show.  The kids all found places on the floor, settling in to watch the magic.  They wore faces full of wonder and awe.  After Santa's magic show, it was Mrs. Claus's turn.  She read the children a story.  All of the little eyes were upon her, listening intently to her every word, not a peep could be heard from the crowd.

    At the end of Mrs. Claus's story, Santa had one more trick to share with the kids.  He asked them all to close their eyes, and when they opened them, he would show them his magic.  When they opened their eyes Santa had made it snow inside.  I stood there blinded by tears hoping that no other adult was looking at me.  The little faces were so excited to see Santa's magic.  They were jumping trying to catch the snowflakes.  It truly was magic.

    After the snow Santa asked the kids to all line up behind him.  He then told them that he and Mrs. Claus would like to give them each a good night hug and a little kiss.  They all sat on Santa's lap and he talked to each one of them.  While they were in his presence he made them feel like they had his full attention and his love.  As they were leaving, Mrs. Claus handed them each a Hershey's Kiss.

    We then went up to get ready for bed.  The kids were so excited, but little did they know what excitement was yet to come.  The lodge has a wonderful fee based activity.  For $12.95 a child, Santa will come to your room and bring your child(ren) cookies and milk and tuck them in.  When there was a knock on the door Christopher told them it must be maintenance.  Standing at the door was Santa.  The kids were beside themselves.  He came in and asked who would like some milk and cookies.  The then sat on the bed and talked to them all.  Just before he left he told the kids "I know what you would like for Christmas, but what do you think I should bring for Mommy and Daddy?"  Riley shouted out "A new Car"  "I think that's maybe too big"  Then Rowan thought for a moment "Santa, my Mom really likes Coke, maybe you could bring her some Coke."  After he had left Riley turned to me and said "I think that's the real Santa Mommy."  I asked her why. "Because you know that he loves kids Mommy, I could see it in his eyes.  I know that was the real Santa!"

    We stayed for two nights.  On the second night we were the only guests at the hotel.  It was amazing.  We all went down to the big beautiful fireplace with books and read.  It was a slice of heaven.  I think that vacation added years to my life.  The staff were amazing and accommodating.  The lodge was spotless.  When it came time for us to leave the kids were all in tears because they did not want that magic to end.
    As we drove away from the lodge all of their little heads were craned looking back.  "Can we please come back next year?"  "This was worth giving up gifts for.  Thank you Mommy and Daddy for bringing us."

www.sixflagsgreatescapelodge.com

Our Christmas Adventure

    I am by nature an over the top person.  If one oatmeal cookie is good, then I should make 100, and have them shaped like Christmas trees.  I like to go big.  The same applies to Christmas, and every year it nearly gives me a nervous breakdown.  I am compelled to make Christmas wonderful and magical, and it nearly kills me every year.  Every year I sit sobbing about four days before Christmas realizing I have not got the right gifts, or enough gifts.  Christmas morning I am buried in wrapping paper, the hundreds (maybe thousands) of dollars of toys and gifts are scattered around the living room.  All of that stress and financial hardship for one day.  Last year was the year that I decided it was time to scale back, and the kids didn't even notice... if you're wondering, that's a good thing!

    This year Christopher and I decided to make Christmas about the experience instead of about the "gifts".  I want Christmas to be magical ... spiritual (not to be confused with religious).  I don't think that the kids will look back when they are parents themselves and remember the gifts that they received, I know that I don't.  I want them to look back and remember the feeling of Christmas.  I want them to remember the Christmas's of their past and look off to the side and have a wistful smile cover their faces (who am I kidding, I want them to be blinded by tears of love for their father and I.  I want them to thank their lucky stars to have had such a privileged childhood).  I want to give them the gift of beautiful memories.

    This year we will be giving the kids the physical gifts, but more than that we will give them the gift of "us", of a family.  We are going to try to do beautiful things as a family.  We started last Saturday when we spent the day at the movie theatre watching Christmas movies.

    Instead of springing the surprise of "less" gifts on the kids, we asked them.  I sat them all down and asked "What would you think about having less presents, but have a little family holiday instead?"  They all gave me an overwhelming "YES".  They love staying in hotels, that is a gift to them.  Originally we had decided to surprise the kids with the mini-vacation, but I can't keep a secret, well, at least I can't contain my excitement.  Originally we told the kids that "Daddy and I were going to go on a romantic get away to the Adirondack Mountains".  They begged to come, just as we knew that they would.  We should have received Oscar awards, we told them that they could come, even though it was "special".  I had booked our hotel months before.  Two days before we left,  I couldn't keep it in any longer I told them we were going to The Six Flags Great Adventure Lodge in Lake George, New York.  

    Saturday night Christopher and I snuck out to the car, bags of decorations in hand.  I thought that my hands were going to fall off with the cold.  We hung tinsel (not an easy task).  I put up Christmas balls. I hung little jingle bell Christmas ornaments with suction cups on the windows (they were wonderful and jingled the whole car ride).  We also put Christmas window clings on the kids windows.  I placed a pair of reindeer antlers on each seat, as well as an bag full of colouring books and fun car activities in between each seat.  The kids were delighted when they climbed into the car at 7 a.m.

More to follow tomorrow.

Sleigh Ride

    Sleigh bells ring are you listen'in, in the lane snow is glisten'in a beautiful sight we're happy to tonight....  I think that I have shared my love of horses with you (a few dozen times).  Although I hate the cold, I love a sleigh ride.  The motion of the wagon / sleigh soothes every single care in the world.  When I am in that sleigh / wagon the outside world does not exist, the only plane of reality is the one that I am in that very second in time.  It reminds me what is important, my family.

   For quite a few years a horse drawn sleigh ride was a part of my family's Christmas tradition.  We would gather together our close family and friends and go for a sleigh ride with this lovely man named Mr. Parks who had horses on the Shannonville Road.  This tradition was something that made our Christmas.  Mr. Parks loved his horses, and he loved that we loved his horses.  After we had done our sleigh ride he would start up a fire, and we would all sit around the fire and toast marshmallows, cook hot dogs, and drink hot chocolate from from our thermos.  It was our special, magic time together.  The last sleigh ride we took as a "whole" family was December 17, 2004, just three days before the car accident that forever changed us.  The last picture that I have of Gabe was taken at that sleigh ride.

    Sleigh rides became bitter sweet from that moment on.  The memories were beautiful, but the pain was just too much to bare, and so that tradition was put up on a high shelf.  The last few years I have longed to bring that tradition back to our family.  I miss that feeling of peace that the ride brings.  I miss that look of unadulterated joy that every single member of my family wears when they were on the sleigh ride.  I think that there has been enough time that I can separate the pain of missing Gabe, and remember him with love instead of that aching pain.  I think he would want his baby sister to have that joy that we all shared, she has never been on a horse drawn sleigh ride.

    Last May our school held it's annual Fun Fair.  As part of the Fun Fair we have a silent auction.  One of the silent auction prizes was a "Horse Drawn Sleigh / Wagon Ride".  It was generously donated by the family of one of Grace's classmates.  Lion and Raquilda Van Zoeren own "Odd Corners Farm" in Thomasburg, Ontario.  Part of their donation was the sleigh ride and hot chocolate and cookies.  Christopher and I decided then and there that no one would out bid us for that auction item.  We kept creeping back to make sure that we were still the highest bidders.  We were ecstatic when we learned at the end of the night that we were the winners!  Our family would have their tradition brought back.

    December 23 we will be going for Elly's very first sleigh / wagon ride.  It will just be our little intimate family (Christopher and the kids and my parents and I).  I am really looking forward to it.  I plan to bundle up and enjoy.  I do not know Lion and Raquilda although I have smiled at them and said hello a few times, but I can only imagine what nice and fun people they are knowing their son Wesley. Wesley is one of the cutest most lively kids that I know.  I am really looking forward to this.

    Lion and Raquilda's Odd Corners Farm is 135 acres ( I can hardly wait).  The sleigh ride is approximately 50 minutes long and can fit 10 - 12 people, and comes complete with sleigh bells jingling.  The cost for this including hot chocolate and apple cider is $85.00 (that is less than $10 a person, you can't go to the movies for that).  If you would like to make your own beautiful Christmas Sleigh ride memories give the Van Zoeren's a call 613-478-2604 (it doesn't have to be Christmas memories, they do wagon rides all year long).

Our Indulgent Movie Day

    Today was a rare day, we did something that was to me so indulgent, so luxurious, we spent most of the day at the movie theater.  I have always thought how decadent and how much fun it would be to watch several movies in the same day, and today presented itself as such a day.

    Our local movie theatre has begun to run family movies on Saturdy mornings.  The family movies are older movies for the low price of $2.50 (remember when that was what movies cost on half price Tuesdays back in high school).  Today they were running "A Christmas Story".  Don't ask me why, but Christopher has done nothing but talk about wanting to take the kids to see it.  I was not as excited as he was, but was all on board for inexpensive fun, and A Christmas Story is a really funny movie.  

    The theatre was not packed, there were lots of great seats, I like that.  We all sat down and waited for the movie to begin.  It had barely begun when we noticed that the sound was terrible.  It sounded like we were listening to the sound in a bucket.  Christopher went out and told someone.  There were a few technical blips, that involved the movie starting and stopping.  Eventually a theatre employee came in and announced that due to the technical difficulties they would refund everyone's money, or give them movie passes, or they could continue to watch the show.  We chose the latter, most of the other people chose to leave.  We laughed at all of the familiar hilarious parts.  At one point I laughed so hard and so loud (remember the part where Ralphie goes to tell Santa that he really wants a Red Rider Bee Bee gun.  As the elf tosses Ralphie down the slide, he realizes that he froze and never told Santa what he wanted.  My favourite part of the whole movie is where Santa puts his foot on Ralphie's face and pushes him down the big red slide all the while saying "HO HO HO"), I humiliated my husband and kids.  We made the best of it, and enjoyed the movie in spite of the bad sound.  The nice treat was that as we left the theatre, there was an employee handing out passes for a free future family movie.

    We had an hour and a half before we were meeting up with my parents to see movie number 2, "Rise of the Guardians".  The kids were starving, so we headed to Arby's for lunch.  We sat around the two tables pushed together, enjoying each other's company, we don't do that enough.  We were finished lunch with enough time to head back to the theatre for washroom breaks and the concession stand (we had a really light lunch so that we could indulge in popcorn).

    Our family took up most of the back row (I have discovered that I really like the back row, because there are no dumb dumbs to kick the back of your seat).  We all settled in.  It was a really great movie.  There were numerous times that the kids, and my husband looked over expectantly to see if I was crying ... I was.  I also sat there with a stupid grin on my face just enjoying the joy of it.  We were all together, getting ready to fill with the Christmas spirit.  My love enveloped most of the back row (oh heck I have enough love that I could have shared with the two strangers at the end of our row).  I sat there feeling thankful that we could do this.  It really was not an expensive day (I got a great deal on the tickets at CAA), but more than that, it was special.  We may never do something so decadent as that again, but it was a special day, and one I hope that the kids will remember, even if they forget the movies that they saw.